Thursday, July 31, 2008

KM-2: Team takes third place in consolation round with 10-4 victory

Maybe they saved the best for last. Know Mercy 2 earned an impressive 10-4 victory over Johnston Home Lawncare in its final game to take third place in the consolation round, good for a fine plaque.

Aaron Dunham pitched a beautiful game, notching at least five strikeouts – we stopped counting to be polite – and reached base twice in two at-bats.

Sidekick Casey Munger went 4-for-5 with three runs scored, benefitting from the slugging of Dave Fox, batting behind her and going 3-for-3.

Other offensive highlights were Dan Eby launching an epic blast that somehow stayed in the park but landed him on third base, and Steve Kutz ripping two line drive hits and scoring twice.

Amy Fox, manning third, flashed some fine leather by scooping an ankle-high screamer.

KM-2 finished with a 6-6 record, and those losses include two one-run games against very good teams, including the epic two-part battle with the vile O’Brien’s Market.

The winning side of the ledger shows two dramatic come-from-behind victories, a mercy win and a hard-fought game with friendly rivals Know Mercy 1.

The team gets a plaque that might get displayed in the church -- when the coach is done showing it off – but everybody gets some hardware:

Most Valuable Ram: Marvelous Casey Munger led team in hits and tapped her Rolodex to recruit subs when needed. Throws lavish parties. Has a goldfish named in her honor.

Best Streak Award: Jamie Norris reached base in eight straight at-bats, an awesome run he takes into next season. Visits China in the off-season.

Multiple Streaks Award: First-sacker Rob Mirque had a five at-bat streak and a three at-bat streak, played one game in extreme back pain to give us enough guys. Knows how to make exotic drinks.

Yes We Can Award: Amy Fox reached base five times in the mercy win against CTL-ALT-DEL. Can honestly say Barack Obama kept her from playing in one game.

You Drove From WHERE? Award: Spectacular shortstop Dan Eby routinely raced from Traverse City to get to Ada by game time. Hit monster blast in final game.

Fashion Sense Award: Jim Boles wore real stirrup socks – not the sewed-in kind – started making sweet basket catches like Wllie Mays when he started wearing San Francisco Giants cap. Certain to get two hits in every game.

Lightening Legs Award. The Amazing Venta Norris is so fast, she doesn’t even need to hit the ball far to get on first. Reached base three times in four at-bats in playoff game. Discovered she works with a teammate.

Rookie of the Year: Cindy Saum played softball for the first time and performed admirably behind the plate, notched her first hit and scored her second run in the big playoff game against the landscapers. Keeps Masons’ house in order.

Most Improved Hitter: Anne Marie Bessette turned heads in practice by ramping up her offense and never looked back. Was clutch in first game against rival Know Mercy 1 with two doubles. Speaks at least two languages and understands city bureaucrats.

Most Improved Player: Steve Kutz struggled at first to translate his rugby skills to softball, but at the end of the season was solid and consistent at the plate and ran back to snag a deep fly against O’Brien’s. Has massive dog. At least I think it’s a dog. It’s really big.

Bronx Bomber Award. New Yorker Dave Fox went 4 for 5 in glorious come-from-behind win over Norman Family Dentistry. Played four positions. Knows tall people. Has famous wife.

Long Distance Operator Award: Aaron Dunham hit an over-the-fence grand slam, but one foul ball went deep into the Ada 2 parking lot. Kept pitching prowess a secret until last game. Has cool cars and huge white cooler.

Super Sub Award: Angie Bond-Patton launched a two-run walk-off homer for big victory over Norman Family Dentistry, a very tough team. Two-sport athlete.

Pretty in Pink Award: Stacie Rylance was running down flies and scoring runs for KM2 before being lured to the hooligan-infested world of soccer, where she was attacked by a malicious goaltender resulting in an injury prompting biggest cast ever. Looks just like Natalie Portman.

Abracadabra Award: Mike Gillis joined team in mid-season, unleashed his bag of tricks on mound, really pissed off O’Brien’s goons. Last seen sporting a brace that’s nearly as big as Stacie’s cast.

Send Him to Wrigley Award: Cub fan Rob Ferguson went 3-for-3 with three runs scored in C-A-D rout. Partially responsible for wife Nikki being on disabled list. Designs green buildings.

Put Him on Second, Nail Him at the Plate Award: The Chipper Skipper led the team in walks with five — and was tagged out at the plate a team-high three times, too. A little too fond of his bat. Buys chocolate chips in bulk.

Darn, That Hurt Award: Mary Kovac subbed in what was known as “Greatest Game Ever,” took a throw to the head that allowed important run to score. Looking for Sunday School teachers.

See What You Missed Award: Nikki Weber was traded to KM1 before first game, came back in final game and got two big hits and shined at second. Likes Spartans.

One and Done Award: Eric Larson reached base in his first base in his first KM2 game, then was drafted by KM1, leaving with perfect 1.000 on-base percentage.

International Women of Mystery Award: Player X. Saved the day then disappeared. Nothing is known about her. Looks just like Tina Schmitz.

Know Mercy 1 and 2 were not the only folks sporting sweet hardware. Alumni Brian Cunningham came to the final night to show off his medal earned in the Iron Man competition in Lake Placid.

Here's a closer look at the fruit of Brian's labor. Biking, running and swimming are good skills for softball. Maybe we can coax Brian back next season.

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